Elden Ring Fan Calculates The Smelliest Soulsborne Protagonist

The Souls series has us wading through sewage, flinging dung pies, coating ourselves in the blood of our enemies, and getting stuck in rancid swamps. It stinks. Literally—thank god we don't have smell-o-vision. But one fan has gone above and beyond, crunching the numbers to find which game has the stinkiest protagonist.

To calculate this, King Bore dug into how Soulsborne AI works: "Every enemy AI defines 'nose distance' to detect targets in a guaranteed radius (vs eye distance, ear distance)," King Bore wrote. "If I calculate the per-game average, we'll know who smells the worst."

Last year, they revealed that Dark Souls 3's Ashen One was the smelliest of the bunch, with 1's Chosen Undead trailing in second, followed by Demon's Souls' Slayer of Demons and then Bloodborne's Hunter. Now, they've updated their rankings to include Sekiro and Elden Ring—Dark Souls 2 isn't part of the line-up because it had a slightly altered engine which didn't use the same smelly parameters for enemy detection.

As you can see in the tweet, Elden Ring's Tarnished is the best smelling protagonist of the bunch, while Sekiro's Wolf is just behind Dark Souls 1. The Ashen One remains the champion of smelling like shit which makes a lot of sense given that Dark Souls 3 has two poison swamps, but there are a few detractors calling bull on the maths.

They're convinced that, in spite of the AI smell detection figures, Bloodborne's Hunter is the smelliest of the lot, given their tendency to be soaked in blood, guts, and all manner of bodily fluids.

So King Bore decided to "let the 999+ meter super-smellers out of their cages", removing any and all restrictions. With that, they found that Wolf was the stinkiest, followed by the Tarnished, the Ashen One, the Chosen Undead, the Hunter, and then the Slayer of Demons.

Regardless of what you think, the takeaway here is that, when you're back in the world of Elden Ring, don't ignore that bar of soap.

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