It used to take a lot to ruffle Anjani Amriit’s feathers. Then, seemingly out of the blue, she became irritated by “everything”. That irritation quickly morphed into anger.
During that time, Anjani couldn’t get behind the wheel without being consumed by road rage. At work, para que se usa el zovirax crema she snapped at her colleagues. “I was angry at everyone, and at life. I didn’t recognise myself any more.” Her loved ones didn’t recognise her, either. “Everyone started to be terrified of me, because any time I had a conversation with anyone I would end up having angry outbursts.” Anjani’s partner was often in the firing line.
Through therapy, Anjani discovered that the root of her anger was actually anxiety stemming from the death of her beloved brother from cancer two years earlier. Credit:Stocksy
As soon as an outburst subsided, Anjani was drenched in remorse. “I’d be constantly apologising and saying, ‘This is not me; I’m really sorry.’ ”
As a result of her constant fury, Anjani’s heart raced, her jaw clenched and she frequently had diarrhoea. At night, she was racked by insomnia, while her days were plagued by “extreme fatigue and brain fog”.
After many exhausting months, Anjani – who now works as a women’s empowerment coach, speaker and author helping people identify their blind spots – sought the help of a therapist to deal with her own “blind spot around anger”. Through therapy, she discovered that the root of her anger was actually anxiety stemming from the death of her beloved brother from cancer two years earlier.
Anjani began to understand that his death had ignited fears over her own mortality. Instead of facing those fears, she’d buried them, hiding behind her anger as a protective mechanism.
Experiencing anger as a result of anxiety is “very common”, says Dr Adrian Allen, a clinical psychologist at Healthy Mind Clinic in Sydney.
He says anger can be understandable but if it’s causing distress to either yourself or those around you, there are ways to manage it.
For people like Anjani, who experience rage as a result of anxiety, reducing that anxiety is the obvious first step. This can be done through treatments such as cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT).
“It’s a good approach because there’s a lot of research that shows CBT can teach people better ways to handle the thinking that keeps anxiety going,” Allen says.
“It helped me have more compassion for myself. Prior to this, I felt like such a terrible person for being angry all the time.”
Learning how to be more flexible in your thinking can also be beneficial. Instead of flaring up when something doesn’t go to plan, learning to “roll with the punches” can help prevent you from seeing red.
Working on “de-arousal” skills can also dial down the heat. Allen says taking a few moments to pause and practise controlled breathing can stop your anger from spiralling.
Simply knowing that anger can be a manifestation of anxiety can also be a game-changer. Anjani was relieved to know the cause of her anger was anxiety. She then threw herself into working on ways to reduce it.
It took a “good few years” and “a lot of work” for Anjani to get there. That included kinesiology and grief counselling. It wasn’t easy, she says, but it was worth it.
“It helped me have more compassion for myself,” Anjani says. “Prior to this, I felt like such a terrible person for being angry all the time.”
It’s been five years since Anjani took the first steps to managing her anger. While she still gets exasperated, she’s no longer ruled by rage. “I’ve returned to my normal, balanced self,” she says.
Make the most of your health, relationships, fitness and nutrition with our Live Well newsletter. Get it in your inbox every Monday.
Most Viewed in Lifestyle
From our partners
Source: Read Full Article